Okay, let's get real: very few of us get to adulthood with healthy self-esteem intact. Many people - myself included -use therapy to consciously re-wire our limiting beliefs and negative self-talk and learn to love ourselves again.
Self-esteem is a concept that speaks to how we feel about ourselves. People with low self-esteem often feel shame and self-doubt. They often feel critical of themselves and feel unworthy of love or praise. You might know firsthand how this can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.
When one has high self-esteem, one feels confident, centered, and worthy of love. Both mental and physical health improves. Relationships start to feel more mutually beneficial. We find ourselves speaking up about our true feelings and needs.
Is this you?
Do you often question or doubt yourself? Do you internally call yourself an idiot or other choice words, or replay things you've said (or wish you said) to others? Do you find yourself feeling awkward and self-conscious in social settings or at work? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others and finding you never measure up? Do you carry a burden of regret?
Recognizing Low Self-Esteem - Individuals with low self-esteem typically cope with it using one of the following three models:
- Imposter Syndrome - These individuals project false confidence and use their accomplishments to mask their insecurities. We often find perfectionists, people-pleasers, and procrastinators in this group.
- Victimhood - In this scenario, low self-esteem causes the person to feel helpless in the face of life’s challenges. They may play the role of the victim and rely on others.
- Rebellion - These individuals pretend to not care about what others think of them. Feelings of inferiority may often come across as anger or blame. Some may act out by defying authority and even breaking the law.
Regardless of how low self-esteem manifests, the results are usually the same:
- Depression and anxiety
- Lack of joy in life
- Addiction
- Anger, guilt, sadness
- Self-doubt
- Codependency
- Self-harm
- Lack of authenticity
- A lack of resilience
- Loneliness
- Isolation
- Eating issues
Treatment for Low Self-Esteem
The good news is that self-esteem is something that can be changed by changing your beliefs, behavior, and how you talk to yourself. Many people unfortunately developed their self-esteem issues in childhood and have been living with low self-esteem for years. For this reason, it is advised that they seek the guidance of a trained therapist to help them process the past in order to positively influence the present and future.
Having a knowledgeable and supportive therapist in your corner can help you develop a healthier, more realistic, and authentic sense of self. I would love to help you connect the dots from your past, discover where your low self-esteem or self-worth came from, and provide you tools to change. Together, we can start to shift your negative beliefs and critical self-talk and replace them with self-love and self-compassion. Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), a specialty of Wild Precious Life, is especially effective at creating better self-esteem.
If you suffer from low self-esteem or self-worth, you are not alone. Any adult in Denver or across Colorado can get therapeutic support. Please reach out to me today. It would be my honor to help!